Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
