Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.