is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween