Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.