the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.