I wanna bring you to show and tell
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
