last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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