So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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