is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize