At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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