Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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