maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
