look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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