Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
only you would photoshop your dick
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
