A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry about my life...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
