you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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