It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dear god my vagina.
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