Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
