The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
