Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
