nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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