what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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