some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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