White coat. Heels.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
