I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize