i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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