I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize