well I can't set my house on fire every night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
