you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
