is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
