This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
