your thong is hanging out like whoa
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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