its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I checked into jail on foursquare
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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