whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can you bring me the toilet please
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
