I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
