its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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