I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
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I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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