woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
