I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
