we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
