Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
