I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
