the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I want a musical about memes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
