Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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