you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
