i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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