i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love having hate sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
