I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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