She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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