I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
