well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
