Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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