I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
