another moral hangover. fuck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
