we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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