I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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