She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
