he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
