Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
