WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize