Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He passed out mid-signature
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
