why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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