She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
