I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
my poor anus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
