You smell like a Billy Joel song
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
