He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
